Meet Beth. She’s a newly appointed division director known for her intense competitiveness. She runs two branches and wants them to compete, turning weekly performance metrics into a competitive showdown. She drives accountability hard, to the point of public embarrassment when people miss their numbers or make mistakes in meetings. Her meetings are laser-focused on work, leaving no room for anything personal or relational.
The result? A culture that’s ticking every box of unhealthy conflict.
Conflict. Every organization has it. But the real question is: Is your culture designed for healthy conflict or unhealthy conflict.
Healthy conflict is a constructive open exchange of differing ideas, within a team where individuals feel heard and respected.
Unhealthy conflict is characterized by communication breakdowns and negative emotional responses, marked by a negative connotation that shifts focus from issues at hand to personal grievances.
Let’s break down the three red flags of unhealthy conflict: creating polarities, humiliation of team members, and creating a negative culture.
1. Polarities
You are one side or the other. No middle ground. This happens when leaders pit groups against each other, they create an “us vs. them” dynamic. Think tug-of-war: it’s either win or lose. That tension makes collaboration harder. People withhold information. Trust breaks down. Progress stalls.
2. Humiliation
Accountability is essential, but humiliation is destructive. It lowers psychological safety. When people feel embarrassed, they pull back, stop contributing, and protect themselves rather than the team.
3. Negative Work Culture
According to psychology research, individuals need three positive interactions for every negative one to feel good. If most of your touch points are strictly business and competitive—no recognition, no celebrations, no warmth—the positive to negative ratio is out of balance. There is little resilience when the going gets tough. Without positivity healthy conflict can’t take root.
The Cost of Getting It Wrong
When these three ingredients are present, resentment, stress, and disengagement grow. Conversely, when leaders choose to eliminate polarity and push the environment towards positivity and mutual respect, organizations flourish.
Take One Step This Week
Do a quick self-audit. Ask yourself:
· Are there any polarities in my team?
· Have I unintentionally humiliated someone on my team?
· What have I done to create positive moments outside of pure performance?
Choose one of the above areas and take a single clear action in that area that will support building a healthy culture. Remove a polarity that exists. Host a lunch. Give a shoutout, recognize positive performance, create a space for mutual collaboration, or make time to interact socially.
Healthy conflict is not about avoiding tension, it’s about making space where differing perspectives can thrive.
Watch the five minute “Healthy or Unhealthy Conflict Culture” video.
