Do You Hate Dealing with Conflict?

“She was a total jerk in the meeting today, calling me out to make me look bad. She did the same thing two weeks ago. I need to get this fixed, but I hate confrontations. I should have dealt with her approach months ago when she starting doing little things to highlight my errors. Now I have a crisis.”

Oh, if we could see the future. Ever procrastinate on a conflict that grew large and seemingly intractable. Or how about simply walking away from an issue because you did not want to create a conflict? Most of us have and we hate when we do it.

Here are some thoughts on how to address conflicts. It may not calm all your uneasiness. It may however, provide the structure you need to deal consistently with conflicts.

These thoughts are a compilation of my own experiences reinforced through reading and study. One of the better sources I have found is The Art of Connection by Michael J. Gelb. It resonates with me because, as you might imagine, it focuses on connecting with the person you are having the conflict with.

Here are a set of principles to help guide you:

The first universal rule is: Do not make things worse.

As you know making things worse is pretty easy to do. A conflict by definition is an act that is in violation of something that is personally important to you. When someone violates a value of yours, guess what? It creates an emotional reaction, generates adrenaline and the primitive part of our brains takes over.

The next steps are based on getting control of your emotions and professionally dealing with the conflict.

Step one: Take time (when). It may be three seconds, three minutes, three hours, or three days. Three weeks is probably too long. Conflict has to be dealt with in a timely fashion. There is a window of time that is optimum to deal with the conflict. Immediately, getting in someone’s face is rarely that sweet spot. Although it can be shortly after the incident. For the above anecdote, a short meeting after the episode may be exactly what is needed.

In reality we know what time frame is reasonable for addressing the issue. Why do we wait? It’s uncomfortable so we justify to ourselves to wait or deal with it later.

A guiding thought: Take the time to hold your tongue, get control, and determine the right time to address the conflict. (Do not make things worse.)

Step two: Place (where). Where are you going to deal with it? In public with a crowd present, may not be the best setting. Think through how the setting will affect the conflict. In your office, their office, a neutral setting, and how you are positioned has an impact. Across a large conference table can be confrontational, sitting adjacent without a barrier sends a different message, as does the meeting place. The place can affect the power dynamics. In a conference room with all the players present shortly after an incident may be appropriate for some events, catastrophic for others.

A guiding thought: Think through how the setting will help you resolve the conflict. (Do not make things worse.)

Step three: Empathy. Be genuinely empathic. Show you care about the other person. I do not mean “show” by acting. Conflicts have at least two people involved who feel they are correct in their view and want to be heard. Show empathy by:

  • Taking the perspective of the other person
  • Think, “what role did I play in causing this conflict”
  • Letting the other person give you their point of view. Let them “empty the tank”.

This step is difficult because is forces us get out of our element, be uncomfortable, and listen. This is not the time to defend, make our point, or push our perspective. If the person you are working with is reasonable and out of line, it is a good possibility they will come to that conclusion. If not, you have given them the opportunity to completely present their view.

(Do not make things worse.)

Is this foolproof? I wish. Does it give you the opportunity to professionally deal with conflict without making it worse? It has for me. It is not complicated nor is it easy. It takes practice:

Universal rule: Do not make the conflict worse

  • Time: What is the sweet spot for dealing with the conflict?
  • Place: Where should the conflict be resolved, consider power dynamics and the message sent by the setting?
  • Be Empathic: Understand the perspective of the other person, what role may you have played, and let them empty their tank.

How could you implement this methodology to solve a conflict you are currently dealing with?

To lead you have to be effective in dealing with conflict.

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The Most Important Tool for Your Leadership Development

“She is so much stronger in her team leadership than she gives herself credit. She is the one leading the team, although she is doing it pretty quietly.”

“He has no idea how he comes across.”

“If he knew what everyone else thinks about his one-on-one meetings, he would be disappointed.”

Can you relate to any of the above statements or is it possible one of the statements describe you? The common thread: the individuals are not self-aware. They do not understand their capability, how they come across, or the impact they are having on others in the workplace.

Suppose one of those statements described you, would you want to know?  How can you develop self-awareness without getting direct verbal feedback? My experience with clients is that it takes deliberate practice.

How to get the data? In working with leaders to get better at their self-awareness we work on gathering data in three areas: Values, emotions, and behaviors. A little description on each.

Values are the beliefs held by every individual that are most important. Those beliefs provide motivation, define what is right or wrong, and how one should act. The fulfillment or violation of values triggers strong emotions. We therefore feel our values with the emotion it evokes. Lastly, we all have behaviors that we adhere to and expect others to adhere to when fulfilling a value.

More simply:

Values = motivation

Emotions = how you feel about the adherence to a value

Behavior = the focus of an individual’s action and energy to fulfill a value

Motivations drive behaviors, the actions at the start of this article are being driven by the values of the individual. To build a better understanding of your behaviors, explore your values.

Let’s start. What motivates you? A typical answer is, doing things I am good at or like to do. Therefore, examine your tendencies, likes, strengths, and what makes you happy. Here are several assessments/surveys that I regularly use to help build that understanding: Strength Finders 2.0 now also known as Clifton Strengths Finders by Gallup. VIA character strengths prioritizes your character strengths. The Authentic Happiness assessment, implicit bias assessment and Angela Duckworth’s Grit Scale can be enlightening. This list just scratches the surface, a simple google search will reveal more. I also use formal assessments such as Emotional Intelligence and The Hogan Assessment suite to provide a wealth of data to an individual.

So, you took some assessments and started building your self-awareness picture. Usually this is not earth shattering but reaffirms and raises your awareness of data you already knew. Now how about building to the skills to assess yourself in real time. I call this method, “Being a spectator of yourself”. This is learning to be engaged with an individual while monitoring and assessing yourself simultaneously. The concept is simple, the execution takes some practice.

We are immersed in our own perspective, this practice has you assess yourself from other perspectives. Here is how to start. During personal interactions consider three other perspectives:

  • the person you are interacting with
  • a third party (a boss, peer, or subordinate) observing the interaction
  • a fly on the wall seeing the interaction at a distance

If you took a few seconds during an interaction to consider one or more of the above, how might it inform you? Use these three questions to assist you:

  • What is the impact I am having on this individual?
  • What would my boss/peer/direct reports see if they observed this interaction?
  • What would an individual not related to the situation observing this interaction tell me?

Using these or similar questions to evaluate others perspectives has created a mindset of analyzing one’s behavior. It has made leaders I worked with to pause, assess their motivations, get emotions in check, and be deliberate about behaviors.

Assessments, coupled with reflection, and a methodology to gain real time feedback has proven to be an invaluable tool to build self-awareness.

How might you develop and incorporate this skill into your toolbox?

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Big Results by Small Increments

Leadership Challenge: Create Big Results from Incremental Progress

Have you ever said anything like this? “I have this big goal to accomplish X however, I keep procrastinating and cannot seem to get started.”

I bet every leader has experienced this. The procrastination gremlin seems to lurk around big goals. One of the problems is that we think big. We want to make big leaps of progress, and when you look at the big leap, it can be intimidating. The distance between where we are and where we want to go can look like an ominous gulf.

What if you took that big goal and broke it down into simpler steps? What would be the impact on you? Let’s do a little exercise and see if you can make some progress.

What is one goal you have in front of you that you seem to constantly put off? It could be a Big Hairy Audacious Goal – the BHAG that Jim Collins talks about or simply one that has been nagging at you. Just pick one. Then let’s embark on a success journey using the following steps.

  • Step one: Build the vision of what it looks like when the selected goal is accomplished.
  • Step two: Assess where you are today on the goal.
  • Step three: State the smallest incremental, yet repeatable step to get you started towards the goal.
  • Step four: Commit to a time period to take those steps, such as a week, 20 days, or 30 days.

A summary of the above is: you set your vision, assess your current position, and set a path with a timeframe. Great work.

Some potential examples:

Let’s see what this may look like in practice. You have the goal of starting a blog, improving your web page, or learning QuickBooks.  These are actual goals of mine but, step into them as if they are yours.

Step one, build the vision. I will produce two blog posts of 750 – 1000 words by Thursday of each week, or my web page is fully updated in six months, or I have the level of proficiency in QuickBooks to produce monthly reports, track expenses and be fully ready for my accountant at tax time without outside help. Okay, so now you have the vision you are working towards.

Step two, assess your current state. I am completing a single blog post a week usually in a couple of sittings and it is usually complete late Thursday or early Friday. Which is later than I want. My web page has not had an update in the past 12 months. My proficiency in QuickBooks is as a novice. I can reconcile my statements however, I struggle inputting and categorizing my expenses, and I am unclear how to handle my 1099 contractors.  The above are examples to help you get started, now do the same for a goal that is important for you.

Step three, choose an incremental step to move you forward positively. Considering the blog post, I am choosing to spend a minimum of 15 minutes a day working on my blog. This has the potential to make consistent progress, build a habit, and not overwhelm myself.

Step four, is to commit to a time period for the trial. I am going to commit to a time period of 30 days. This can be 6 work weeks or a calendar month. I will assess myself along the way and make adjustments as needed, but reserve overall judgment until the 30-day mark. I am going to use a calendar month.

My hypothesis is, by providing consistent time to work on the blog I will be able to produce two blogs a week. I am guessing my 15 minutes will grow, I will get off to a better start, have more ideas, and have a calmer approach.

Let’s do it for you:

  • Step one: What is your vision for a particular goal _______________.
  • Step two: Where are you today in relation to the goal? Be specific, what are you doing to achieve your goal? _______________. (I am doing nothing or I am thinking about it, is a perfectly acceptable answer.)
  • Step three: The incremental progress you are committing to is_________________. I will do ___________.
  • Step four: Commit to the incremental approach for a certain period of time. I will do step three for _____ days/weeks/months.

You have just committed to taking an incremental approach to achieve big results.

Thanks for embarking on this challenge with me. Use the comment section below to share the challenge you have taken on. I look forward to sharing my results and hearing yours.

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Delegation Actions That Really Irritate Your Subordinates

“As the social media director in the marketing department my boss delegated to me the task of increasing our social media engagement. I drafted a communications plan, she signed off on it and have been at it for two months. So far, we are ahead of the metrics set, engagement is up 75%, we have increased followership by several thousand, and we are getting the desired responses from the demographics we are targeting. 

In my last several meetings the Director of Marketing is giving me specific content to use, which does not resonate with our younger targets. I have pushed back, showed our results and how this is not in accordance with our communications plan. She is not getting the message. Now I have to use her content and I am receiving a lot more direction. I find myself frustrated and spending a lot of effort figuring out how to manage her and the content she wants.”

Ugh, ever have this happen to you? The boss delegates a task and after you have it up and running begins providing all kinds of direction? Maybe a better question is, have you ever done this? Delegated a task and later provided all kinds of direction?

In our previous discussion on delegation we used a simple model to assess how we delegate, which is shown below. In short delegation consists of two elements, ends and means. When you delegate you generally will give direction with a mix of the two. Ends, what you want the task to look like when it is done. Means, specifying how you want someone to do the task.

Based on this situation let’s graph the delegation results. Not that the scale is changed on the below graphs to reflect a delegation on a specific task rather than your general tendency. At the start of the project it fell heavily on the ends in the top right quadrant.

Once the boss starts providing more specific direction what happens to that dot? It definitely moves down. More “means” are being specified. I also contend that the dot moves left. Why? Because the ends are not as clearly defined as they were at the outset.

This task moved from a good growth opportunity to missed opportunities and maybe even into micromanagement. Micromanagement, a term no leader wants to hear in the same sentence as their name.

Let’s dig deeper. What were the effects on the employee? Frustration and irritation clearly came out. Also, this individual is now spending time attempting to manage the boss, a definite waste of time and energy. Would it have been better at the outset for the boss to have given more direction (means) on how she wanted this project executed? Probably.

In my opinion, supported by anecdotal data, when a boss delegates, steps away, and later provides significant direction and involvement – they damage their credibility. Moving your dot from the top right quadrant, down or down and to the left is not good.

You would be better served by starting with significant direction (means) and as time progresses and the subordinate proves themselves, providing less and less direction. Move up and to the right.

All subordinates want their leader to have a high level of trust and confidence in them. Delegation is one of greatest tools we as leaders have to build it. Use it thoughtfully. Not every subordinate in every task belongs in the top right quadrant. Give deliberate consideration on what you are attempting to accomplish with the task and the subordinate, then allocate the ends and means appropriately.

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How Do You Lead When You are Not in Charge?

Bobby feels his performance is worthy of promotion after two years in his job. Today he had a conversation with his boss during his semi-annual review and brought up the topic. His boss’s response was that he has not shown the leadership expected of one ready to be promoted.

His first thought was; Leadership, I am buried in the organization, how in the world am I supposed to show leadership? So, he asked, “what should I be doing?”. The answer was not very encouraging. She told him to do the things that leaders do and be visible.

Understandably, he left her office frustrated. His thoughts: I need more specific guidance. I don’t know what she is talking about and by the way, whatever I do will not work since I am not in charge.

It is not uncommon for me to hear such stories from clients looking to progress in their careers. The question they want to be answered is: How can I lead when I am not in charge? To that I have them address two essential questions:

  1. How am I leading myself?
  2. How am I seen as a leader today?

Leaders must be comfortable with leading themselves before becoming comfortable leading others. In reality, every leader has to answer to someone. How did they get to their position? They probably demonstrated some leadership acumen prior to promotion.

Let’s transition from Bobby to you. I propose starting by writing your definition of leadership. After all, that is what you are after isn’t it? Here is mine:

“The art of positively influencing others to unite and achieve common goals”

Here is an assessment of my definition. First, leadership is an art, not a science, everyone does it differently, using their own techniques and methods. Second, it is about influencing others. Leadership is not about standing in front and giving directions; it is about being a positive influence. Lastly, it’s uniting others to accomplish a common objective. To me the most important elements of this definition are that leadership is about influence and accomplishment, not position and accomplishment. That means anyone at any level can be a leader.

What is your definition of leadership?

______________________________________________________________________________

What are its key elements?

______________________________________________________________________________

Congratulations. You just created a vision for your leadership. My assumption is your definition said more about motivating, inspiring, and shaping others than about your position or authority level.

Now, assess yourself to determine a realistic view of you, the leader. What are your skills, tendencies, likes/dislikes, and strengths? Measure yourself against your definition. On a scale of 1-10 grade yourself on leading yourself.

Next, how well do you meet your definition with others? How do we determine that? We ask what is it like to be on the receiving end of your leadership. We ensure you address how well you lead yourself. For me, I ask how well I influence, unite, and achieve results when leading others. Because they are the key elements of my definition. What do you need to ask?

That is the starting point. Step two, build a leadership development plan. It includes goal setting, specific skills to develop, reading to complete, and most importantly actions to take, assess, and be accountable to.

So, how do you lead when you are not in charge?

You develop your ability to influence others and use it to be a positive force to accomplish common goals as a team.

If you lead yourself well and develop your ability to influence others, you will be on the path to being a leader regardless of your level, line worker to CEO. People may listen to authority – leaders of position however, they follow leaders who are a positive influence – leaders of voice.

Be a leader of voice – a person who influences, motivates, and inspires others.

Let’s fast forward to Bobby’s conversation with his boss in six months, it may go something like this. Over the past six months we agreed what my leadership development should look like and here are the results. My definition of leadership is this: ____________. I received feedback from every team member and worked to specifically contribute to my team in this manner: __________. The results have been ___________ and you have given me additional responsibilities. I am ready to move to the next level and continue my growth.

What can you do to create a conversation like this in your future?

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Organizational Fitness: Communication is the Heart of Your Fitness

How well the organization you lead communicates is a measure of the cardiovascular fitness of your organization. Communication allows or prevents an organization to sustain its performance. An organization that communicates well has the ability to respond to changes and sustain their performance. They are able to increase intensity, speed up when needed, and grind it out through a tough time such as climbing a hill. They are in for the long haul. Why, because all the systems work well together. Everyone knows where they are going, why they are going there, and if they are on track. They have an expectation of the future.

Organizations that communicate poorly are the converse. Unable to work together to respond and adjust to challenges. Why, because they don’t know where they are going and why.

In the organization you lead, who do you think has the best concept of what clear communication is? Those at the top or the bottom?

The concept of clear communication is completely understood by everyone at the lower end of an organization. Just ask. When the bottom rung of an organization is left confused by the message, it generates discontent and criticism of the leadership. Statements such as “What they should have done is” or “They don’t know how this affects us” are common refrains. Confused and frustrated members of the team tire easily. Their energy, mostly mental, is wasted on nonproductive activities. They are inefficient.

Why would you be criticized as being unable to communicate clearly throughout your organization? In my opinion there are three reasons. First, failure to employ clear, concise, and concrete language that translates in to actions. Second, you suffer from the “The Curse of Knowledge”. Lastly, you do not ask for feedback.

Clarity

Clear, concise, and concrete language such as; “I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the Earth.” After JFK said this an entire nation knew the objective. What if he said something such as: “I believe this nation should outperform the competition in space endeavors.” That certainly leaves the goal open to interpretation.

How did you state your last most important message to your team?

Knowing too Much

The “Curse of Knowledge” is knowing so much about something that you cannot put yourself in the shoes of another who does not have a clue. What you understand and how you understand it, can be completely foreign to others. Your explanation is crystal clear and makes perfect sense – to you. Others are totally befuddled; how can that be? Does everyone really need to know every detail that you do on a topic? Using too much detail or the wrong language may not give your team what they need.

One day a four-year-old comes in from the backyard playing with his friend Bobby and asks “Mom where did I come from?” The mother figured well this the time to introduce her young son to the how babies are made. The mother very seriously spends 15 minutes giving her best “biology for a four-year-old” lesson. When she is done, she leans back and asks, do you have any questions? He answers, “No, I wanted to know because Bobby said he came from New York” Sometimes knowing too much is a curse.

Know what your audience needs! You have all the background and know what you are trying to communicate. It makes perfect sense to you. Others in the organization may have no idea what you are trying to convey.

Was the Message Accurately Received?

Lastly, communication is a two-way process. If the message is not received accurately: “You have a failure to communicate.”

 

You must determine if the message landed properly by getting feedback from every corner and level. Just because it was said, does not mean it was heard. If the received message was not what was sent, go back to step number one: Develop the message in clear, concise, and concrete language and send it again.

Summary

Good communication takes continuous work, every hour of every day. Consistent messaging that is understood throughout the organization builds what General Stanley McCrystal in his book Team of Teams calls shared consciousness; levels of communication, transparency, and information sharing that allows all members to understand and embrace the mission.

Your cardio fitness is how well your heart, lungs, and organs consume, transport, and use oxygen. A high level of fitness means all those organs work together efficiently. Good communication allows all the areas of your organization to work together efficiently.

What have recent events told you about the cardio fitness of your organization. How can you get the feedback you need to measure your fitness?

Want to know more about organizational fitness? Read the first blog post; “What is Organizational Fitness?”.

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Leadership Reflection: What kind of “Crisis Leader” are you and why?

“Adversity does not build character it reveals it” James Lane Allen.

“Her calm leadership under incredible pressure it what made us successful today!” You have heard a statement similar to this before and maybe said it yourself. Reflect on a leader who you are familiar with: a boss, a coach, a political leader, a coworker, who successfully deals with crisis after crisis. How do they maintain their poise and steady leadership while embroiled in a situation rife with challenges, imperfect information, and severe consequences caused by their decisions?

My premise: They are not just great crisis leaders, they are great leaders because they live by and continually practice the values required to lead under duress.

Crisis leaders are decisive, selfless, focused on the mission, the good of the organization, and its people. They communicate clearly, are trusted, and have the courage to speak and stand by their convictions. They do this all the time, not only in response to a crisis. Living and practicing those values with every interaction regardless of its magnitude builds the “crisis leader” muscles.

Core values are the foundation of our being, drive our behavior, and are what is personally most important to us. In times of crisis our personal façade is torn away and our core values are bare for everyone to see. If you feel you are unable to lead in a crisis – maybe it is time to examine how you handle your daily small predicaments. Will the values “muscles” you are exercising serve you in the next major crisis you encounter?

You cannot show up on game day and expect to win without preparation!

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What Leaders Do and How They Do It

Take 30 seconds to jot down your thoughts on what leaders do:

Now how do they do it.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I had the unique opportunity in the early 2000’s to be part of an all United States Service Academy team to draft and edit a new edition of The Armed Forces Officer. The broad purpose of the book was to get to the essence of what it means to lead as a military officer.  More narrowly how the different cultures of each service apply those broad strokes.

Guess what? Those broad strokes apply to leadership in any forum and the focus on different cultures applies directly to the corporate, educational, and the nonprofit world very well.

What do leaders do?

Leadership is a bond of trust. If trust does not exist between the leader and the led, leadership is not happening. Here are several possibilities of what is actually going on.

  • The leader is being obeyed. They are a leader of position, not of voice. A leader of voice is an individual followed because they are a voice of leadership. Respected for their expertise and approach.
  • The leader is in front of the organization but not building or leading from a place of trust. They are akin to a person jumping in front of a parade thinking they are leading it. The route was set well before they jumped in front.
  • The leader is followed out of shear curiosity. “What will she do next? This should be entertaining!”

Leaders build trust!

As you know trust does not develop overnight. It takes time and consistency. How do they do it? By executing four very clear steps.

  • Leaders set the example
  • Leaders set and enforce the standard
  • Leaders build and sustain morale
  • Leaders exhibit moral and physical courage

A few thoughts on each element.

Set the example

Leaders who are exemplars of the expectations of subordinates build credibility. Being an exemplar does not entail doing the job of subordinates. It entails demonstrating the expectations such as; being on time for meetings, professionalism, attention to detail, treating everyone with respect, admitting mistakes, being transparent, and living by the vision, mission, and values of the organization. Credible leaders set an airtight example for others to follow.

Set and enforce the standards

Setting the standard is easy, the enforcement proves difficult for many or at least uncomfortable. Why is this so difficult? The feedback from inexperienced leaders is the accountability discussion feels like you are being mean or I don’t want to be confrontational. There is nothing mean or confrontational about it. You communicated your expectations, set performance metrics, and standards of professional behavior. You are doing your job, they are not.

The reaction from experienced leaders is that not holding individuals to the standards, only lowers the standards. Worse yet is being inconsistent with accountability. Holding one group/individual to a standard and not another erodes your credibility. Your audio must match the video, if you state you will ensure individuals meet the standard then do it and be consistent.  Otherwise you will be sowing seeds for low performance, low respect, discontent, and a cynical culture.

Set and enforce the standard and you will likely have the performance and respect you expect. Of course, how you enforce the standard has an impact. Accountability can be calm and professional.

Build and Sustain Morale

If you are the leader you own everything under your umbrella; cost, schedule, and performance. Part of performance is morale. Think of the best boss you ever worked for. What did that leader do for you and those around you? Working in an engaging environment that gets the best out of everyone is infectious and attracts talent. This does not have to be ping pong tables and happy hours. What are you doing to first, understand the current state of morale in your organization is and second, to positively build it and sustain it?

Exhibit Moral and Physical Courage

The physical courage clearly comes from the military aspects of my source however, in some lines of work it fits. Law enforcement and first responders come to mind immediately. If you lead individuals who you send into harm’s way, you better be able to do what you ask of them. You know it if it applies.

Moral courage fits every leader. But what is it? Let’s call it the ability to stand up to moral wrongs and make the hard decisions. It often feels like sticking up for the little guy, an injustice, or speaking truth to power. Some examples: calling out unethical behavior particularly the behavior of seniors, going to bat for an individual who is being treated poorly, putting a career/promotion at risk by speaking the truth, or backing an unpopular position because you believe it is right.

Put in your mind’s eye two pictures. The first, the finest example of consist morale courage in the workplace you have witnessed. How do you feel about that individual?

The second picture, the most egregious example of a moral coward. The individual who always acquiesced to the bosses’ position, rarely took a stand on issues important to the organization, and would allow other individuals to task your organization without any intervention or involvement.

Put those pictures next to each other and assess how you feel about them. Nothing more needs to be said.

Leadership is a bond of trust – without trust there is no leadership

How do you build that trust?

  • You set the example
  • You set and enforce the standard
  • You build and sustain morale
  • You exhibit physical and morale courage

On a scale of one to ten assess how you are doing in each area. Set an improvement goal and take an action to make progress. You will be rewarded with the trust and confidence of those you work with.

Did you enjoy working through this leadership tool?  Check out another leadership blog post here.

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Career Transition Coaching: ROI Case – The Unhappy Professional

Jeremy 42 is a managing partner in a professional services firm and has been with them for 10 years. He is a steady performer doing well financially (200k+) depending on the year and settled into a niche part of the business as an expert. He is well respected by everyone in the firm and a key part of the management team. With two children, ages 9 and 7 he wants to be able to spend more time around them particularly at their sporting and school events. One goal he has is to coach soccer for his kids as he played in college. His commute is making that impossible since he spends a minimum of 2 hours a day commuting which often turns into 3 hours.

The work is not all that exciting since he has become the firm’s “expert” in a particular area. There are plenty of challenges such as meeting deadlines, creating deliverables, modifying contracts, and developing junior associates. For him work has become fairly routine. He could branch into other areas if he wanted, however, has not taken the time and effort to build an additional book of business. He has become very comfortable with his current situation.

He came to me looking for assistance in determining where to start with his search and how to go about it. Some requirements were that he had to keep his salary at the current level, reduce time on the road, have significant vacation time, and be in a position of leadership.

We started with sharpening the elements of his vision for the perfect position. He determined his desire to move was based more on family lifestyle than work. Spending time with the family became the primary driver rather than professional responsibilities. That did present some challenges as leadership roles are what commanded the salary, he was familiar with and looking for.

Examining his skill set he was very clear that business development and networking were not his strong suit. It was also clear that his expertise forced clients and colleagues to see him as one dimensional. Most of his current book of business was referred to him from previous clients or colleagues in the firm. He was capable of a broad range in his field however, his recent experience did not reflect that capability. He also wanted to keep his search confidential.

Actions

The first actions were to determine how to search what the potential market was for him. We started by having Jeremy identify potential firms and individuals that might be able to assist him in answering that question. That meant working on his networking skills. We worked on what networking was for him. He came up with a definition that translated into small meetings, presentations, coffees or lunches with colleagues. He explored other firms made connections and even applied and interviewed for several positions.

The Results

What Jeremy discovered was that changing firms would cost him significantly in salary. He was not going to be brought in as a managing partner. He would have to start as an associate and build up to partner. That was disappointing.

He also found that he was actually pretty good at networking, using his style. Renewing previous relationships, creating new ones, and building on his reputation as an expert proved beneficial. One result was that it brought some new business in his area of expertise.

He also examined going into business for himself, which after doing the research he determined would take up more time than his current situation. Nope going to hang out his own shingle.

Looking at where he was gaining traction, he made the decision to go to the management team and make a proposal. He proposed that he work from home at least two days a week with the potential for more if he cultivated clients in his geographic area. The management team accepted his proposal with a plan to implement it in increments to ensure it did not have a negative impact on business and development of junior associates.

Today

Jeremy is working from home approximately two and a half days a week. He has improved his book of business and gained a couple of clients in the area where he lives. He has adopted a business development approach based on his networking strategy. As an assistant soccer coach, he participates with his children’s teams several times a week.

Jeremy is much happier in his current arrangement. He is still focused on his vision of being a well-paid executive with time to live the lifestyle he wanted. He did not change firms however; he did transition his career to be focused on what is most important to him. Jeremy is controlling his career.

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Leadership Case Study: Taking Care of Your People

You are a department head leading 25 employees. A branch head, on board for 6 months comes to you and asks for your support on a transfer request within the company.

The company has 2500 employees, with many disparate divisions. The corporation is a services company with the values of: Mission, People, and Service. This branch head is a solid performer, came up to speed very quickly, and is making a difference. She supervises 10 of the 25 employees assigned to the department and your hierarchy is the number three leader after you and your deputy. It is January and you had three transfers that have not been filled by HR. If she leaves that would be four and she is the continuity. Your department is a policy unit that updates, modifies, researches, and inspects policy within the entire company.

When she arrived in September you knew she would likely be with you for a year, the typical minimum to stay. On her welcome meeting with you she was very clear that she was looking for a transfer to her “career goal” position within another department. With the company for 11 years, she set a goal to move to that department when she started.

Positions come available occasionally and are very competitive. In fact, one came available right after she arrived and you supported her competing for it. She was runner up. If she won the position, she would have departed during the summer transfer time.

Here it is January and a “quick fill” opportunity has come available and she is asking for your support to apply. Company policy requires department heads approve the application. You estimate her chances of winning the position to be one-in-four due to the high number of applicants. However, she is well qualified and if selected will be gone by mid-April. That will take away the continuity in your department and reduce your staffing by four. You will get replacements but they will likely trickle in starting in April and continue over the summer.

What do you do and why? Share your thoughts in the comments below. I’ll share my thoughts in next week’s blog post.

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